The Success Habits

Before I get the negative feedback from the female population, let me OPENLY admit, that the same principle above applies to Home Depot/Lowes for men! (and likely to a greater degree, how many nail guns does one guy really need?!?!?!)  I can't even begin to guess how many times I have walked out of those Mega stores with a cart full of stuff that I didn't need or intend to buy.  But I also want to share my experience from the past three visits to either Home Depot or Lowes.  I walked IN, looked for what I NEEDED, didn't find what I WANTED, and walked OUT without buying ANYTHING!!!!  SUCCESS!!  And the few visits before that, I bought exactly what I went there for, and nothing else.  That feels great!  And in the last year, I haven't been to those stores more than 6 times.  Of course, living 90 miles away from the nearest Home Depot or Lowes helps (even though I drive by them weekly), but what has made the BIG difference is a change in habits, decision, and determination.  HABITS!!  Before, my habit was to go to HD and no matter what I was 'looking' for, I would check out the tool sections (power tools, hand tools, etc..), discount sections, flooring section, and everything in between before making my way to look for the paintbrush I needed.
A couple of days ago on his radio show, Dave Ramsey said 'Negative habits create problems, Positive habits create wealth'.    Simple and true!  When you are in the habit of putting things on credit cards, whether you can 'afford' it or not, you are creating a problem.  When the end of the month rolls around, and you can either pay off the credit card or buy groceries, chances are you will buy the groceries, because a minimum payment on the credit card is no big deal, right?  No big deal to pay a few extra dollars in interest for something you probably didn't need in the first place.  And 6 months later, the hundreds of dollars in interest you may end up paying could have bought way more than the groceries the first month!  That is a problem!  And so is a house, closet, garage, shed or storage unit full of JUNK that you don't need and really didn't even want.  
What are some Negative financial habits that you have?  

• Are you addicted to your credit card?  If you have a credit card and use it, you are probably addicted to it.  Even if you 'pay it off' every month, you are creating a huge potential problem.  It only takes a small emergency for that credit card balance to rocket out of control, and cost you hundreds or thousands of dollars in interest.   'I need it for emergencies' isn't even a good rationalization.  What we NEED for emergencies is CASH!  Make your new habit to not even have a credit card (bank/debit cards can do pretty much everything a credit card can, without a bill or negative interest).  Instead of the credit card, your real habit should be to ALWAYS have an emergency cash fund:  Never less than $1000! (and build it up to at least 3-6 months of expenses)  
• Are you in the habit of spending everything you make every month with nothing left over? 'But we just don't make enough to cover our expenses and needs, and still have anything left over'.  That was my excuse for years!  What that really means is, I am avoiding a budget at all costs!  Or, I need the 6000 channel cable/satellite package and the netflix account and the multiple DVD rentals from Blockbuster and I need to eat out several times a week and, and, and..... and these are NEEDS, not WANTS!  The Habit we need to have, is the BUDGET.  Budgeting is telling your money where to go, instead of wondering where it went.  What do you really need, and what can you accomplish with the money you 'save' instead of blowing it on the junk?  With a budget, you can see the light at the end of the debt tunnel, and what a beautiful light it is!  
• Do you continue to buy the newest car, or worse yet, lease one?  Even if you pay cash for the newest car, you still take the biggest hit in depreciation as soon as you drive it off the lot! And if you are leasing the car, you lose money all the way through the process without anything to show for it at the end (except for the next leased car..YAY!)  Any time you buy something on credit, what that really means is that you bought something that you can't afford, so obviously it is a great idea to pay even more for it, right? New Habit: Pay cash or don't buy it.  Buy and drive a beater until you can save up for a nicer, but still used, car/truck/SUV (there are lots of reliable beaters out there, and even if it breaks down, you didn't lose much because you didn't pay much!)

 We have all rationalized and justified our way into these holes, but will we stay there or get out?  And when we do get out, will we stay out?  You may need a mentor, adviser, coach, or program to help you start to adopt new habits, but it WILL be worth every bit of effort you put into making those changes.  And when those positive habits become YOUR habits, you won't ever want to go back.  In fact, you will wonder how in the world you ever got by without them!

The Habits of wealthy people are what made the vast majority of them wealthy.  And those same habits can make you and I wealthy.  And when we are wealthy, we can serve both God and his children with much greater force, love, and with the greatest asset of all: Time!

Commitment and Honor

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh  Genesis 2:24


I often wonder why some married couples seem to be a beautiful extension of the couple they were when they first began dating (happy, excited, in love, optimistic about their future together) while others seem to undergo an almost instant change to quite the opposite within days or weeks (if not minutes) after being married.  I have been so hugely blessed in my life to continue strong in the first category.  I am still awestruck at the beauty of my wife! 5 kids and just shy of 13 years after marriage she continues to amaze and inspire me.  She makes me want to be a better person.  I am not bragging or exaggerating here.  I don't feel like I have all the answers and solutions.  I admit humbly and sincerely that I have been blessed immensely with a great wife and a wonderful family.  I do strongly believe that there are some very clear and distinct reasons that we have not only maintained our love and friendship, but indeed both love and friendship have grown and flourished since we were married.  And I know that these are Godly principles that can be applied to any and every marriage, relationship (family or otherwise), and friendship to achieve similar and even greater results!  Honor your friendships and relationships, and you will receive honor from them.

1.  Friends and Partners.  Why is it that so many people quit being friends after they get married?  It's like they cannot fathom being friends and partners.  And you can see the trends and results in both marriages and business partnerships.  WAY too often they end quickly with no shred of friendship remaining.  Friends first, friends always, is so important in marriage.  True friends will always be there and keep your best interest in mind, and your spouse not only can be, but should be your best friend.  Always put them first on your list, in your heart.  And friendship will support, not tear apart, your marriage.  
2. Commitment.  This can be a scary word for both men and women (for different reasons generally).  But commitment is a wonderful concept and an even better reality when it is an integral part of your relationships.  It turns a casual friend or acquaintance into a partner and an ally.  I heard a great statement about commitment that really helps put it into perspective:  When problems arise, if you are committed you look for a solution to the problems; if you are not committed you look for an escape from the problems. Be committed, seek for solutions and not escapes or excuses.  Marriage is a chance to become true allies, true friends, truly happy!  
3. Cultivate!  I am a poor gardener.  Not because I don't know how to garden, but because I don't garden.  I don't tend to the garden, fertilize, water, weed, and generally care for those plants that I want to grow while keeping the unwanted plants away!  But symbolically, I am a good marriage gardener, and so should you be!  Don't allow contention into your marriage, and when it tries to become rooted, don't just ignore it, DESTROY IT!  Go out of your way to 'say something nice or don't say anything at all'.  "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." — Benjamin Franklin  And sometimes you may need to point out that you are 'not saying anything at all' because you want to destroy contention; you want to nourish love not hate.  Water your marriage with compliments, flirting, dating, love notes, gifts, and smiles!  Seek out the 'weeds' daily that are hurting your relationships and remove them.  Hold hands, open doors, give praise and share gratitude.  These seemingly small gestures are great fertilizer for a happy marriage.
4. Share.  One of the biggest divisions in a marriage or business partnership is that of finances.  Generally, either accounts and income are kept separate or all the 'bills' and budgeting is dumped on either the husband or the wife.  And with the dumping of the budgeting responsibilities blame and shame are too often included. 'Where did you spend all our money?'  'Why can't you get the budget under control?'  Separate accounts and income are just as destructive to a relationship, if not more so.  'My money' and 'your money' should never exist in a marriage:  they shall be one..!  You cannot be one and separate at the same time.  You cannot serve God and mammon.  One of the greatest ways to become one, is to share equally in matters of budgeting and finances, regardless of who makes the money or who makes more money.  You are one, all money is shared as are all bills, debts, investments, and plans.  If not, then you are not 'one'. 

 Commit to your friendship, share in the cultivation and responsibilities!  And watch the garden of joy and enjoyment grow in your relationships!

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up. - Ogden Nash.